Hayden Panettiere is holding nothing back in her first memoir. This Is Me: A Reckoning, out May 19, 2026, offers an unflinching look at what it was like growing up in the spotlight on shows like Heroes and Nashville—and the painful chapters she’s largely kept private until now.

The actress uses the book to reckon with how early stardom made her susceptible to manipulation and trauma. She also breaks her silence about a disturbing incident at 18, when she says she was placed in a bed next to an undressed, famous man on a boat—an experience she describes as shocking and frightening.

A Relationship Defined by Abuse

Perhaps the most difficult section deals with her on-and-off relationship with Brian Hickerson from 2018 to 2022. Panettiere describes a cycle of emotional abuse, violence, and reconciliation that eventually led to multiple arrests, jail time, and probation in 2021.

Hickerson has responded publicly, calling the memoir “difficult” to read but acknowledging the importance of discussing abusive relationships. He’s stopped short of denying her account, instead pointing to personal growth and the need for empathy.

Coming Out and Finding Her Truth

Ahead of the book’s release, Panettiere revealed she is bisexual in an interview with US Weekly, explaining that opening up publicly is about shedding her need to appear “perfect.” In the memoir, she connects her sexuality, body-image struggles, and the relentless scrutiny of young stardom to the anxiety and depression she later worked through in therapy.

Panettiere hopes the book will resonate with readers facing their own battles with fame, trauma, and self-acceptance. This Is Me: A Reckoning is available for preorder now.